So, how can expanding your comfort zone, increase your self confidence?
Well, how you act, has a major effect on how confident you feel. And, how confident you feel, will generally dictate how you act.
So, to get yourself out of that vicious cycle, you have to make some changes.
Step outside your comfort zone
I’ve spoken before about the huge benefits you get, when you step outside of your comfort zone. As well as increasing your experiences, every time you do something new, your confidence in your abilities grows as well.
Quite often, when were thinking about trying a new adventure, or stretching ourselves a little bit, we imagine that the results of failure will be devastating.
For most people, including me, stepping outside of what’s comfortable and safe can be scary. And it’s part of Human design to do much more to stay away from pain and danger, than it is to move toward pleasure.
Although, in almost all cases you’ll find that the devastation you envisaged is, actually unlikely to ever happen.
Obviously, in some situations, pain could be a possibility. In most cases though, the results of failure are more likely to be a dent in our pride.
So, the next time your in a position to step outside of your comfort zone, here’s a tip. Simply re-frame your doubt, by asking the simple question….
“What really, is the worst that can happen?”
And although that sounds like a simple question, it breaks your automatic response. Now, you’re free to actually think about how that experience could effect you.
How does it work?
The problem’s are generally caused by your fear of the unknown. When you’re asked to do something you haven’t done before, your mind fills with all of the ‘worst case scenarios’. Then it presents them as facts to your conscious mind.
This ‘vision’ will, in most cases stop you trying this ‘unsafe’ practice and your mind is happy again. Unfortunately, your confidence doesn’t progress and you’ve missed out on what could have been a wonderful experience.
Clearly, the process behind this effect is dependent on the priorities you’ve subconsciously assigned to the ‘six human needs‘. The six human desires, that everyone strives for in some measure.
These six needs are:
- Certainty: an assurance that you can avoid pain / gain pleasure.
- Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, or surprise.
- Significance: to feel unique, important, needed, or special in some way.
- Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness with someone, or something.
- Growth: an increase of capacity, capability, or understanding.
- Contribution: a sense of helping, giving, or supporting others.
Everyone’s hierarchy is slightly different and will affect how often you’re willing to try new things.
However, whenever you’re drawn to decline the experience, consider what’s the worst that can happen? Then ask, “what will this experience give me?”
Once you’ve made yourself aware of the most likely bad outcomes. And you’ve identified the benefits you will get, you can make an educated judgement about whether, or not to try it.
By identifying the actual possible outcomes, you’ll feel calmer about doing the activity. And sometimes, you might even decide to do something that could possibly be dangerous 🙂
Try it out, then let me know how you got on.