We all have times when we wish we had more self-confidence.
For most of us, when we’re faced with a challenge, or new opportunity, the self-doubt gremlin pops his head up and makes us doubt ourselves. We start to wonder if we’ll ever be able to do it. If we’ll ever be good enough.
And that’s the biggest problem with self-confidence. It’s never about what you can, or can’t do. It’s always about what you BELIEVE you can, or cannot do.
Henry Ford once said,
Whether you believe you can do a thing, or you believe you can’t, you’re right.
Maybe you’ve never done it before, or maybe you have and failed miserably, but things can be different this time.
When something has gone bad for you before, you may well believe that you’ll fail or struggle the next time. You won’t feel confident about doing it again.
Once that happens, you start to make up stories in your head. Stories about how useless you are, or how even if you try you’ll make a complete hash of it. So, if it’s at all possible, you’ll get out of doing it.
Now, you’re concerns about how capable you are, has knocked your self-esteem as well. Soon, you’ll begin to wonder if you’re even worthy of being asked in the first place!
Being Mindful about the opportunity you’ve been given, or the challenge you have to face can be extremely beneficial. It’ll help you become aware, that those unhelpful thoughts are exactly that – unhelpful thoughts.
They’re not a description of what’ll happen, or even probably happen. They’re simply a reminder of what may have happened in the past (We humans tend to catastrophize about bad events).
So, be mindful. Put yourself into a positive mindset and remind yourself of all the things you do well. You can even take your mind back to that terrible time when you messed up and ask yourself what you can learn from it? What will help you improve this time?
Put aside your judgements about the last time and start anew. This time you know what went wrong, this time you know better!
Mindfulness is all about letting go of the past, not worrying about the future and concentrating on the now. Look at this new challenge, or opportunity with a ‘beginners mind‘. Forget about what happened in the past, you can’t change it. But, you can always learn from it and that’s what gives you your strength now.
By all means, make a plan. Think through what you need to do, or achieve to make it work. Then move forward with a positive and calm mindset.
When you take away the power from the unhelpful thoughts, you can start to move forward with confidence.
When you start to have thoughts like ‘I can’t do this!’, Don’t judge yourself, just remember they are just thoughts and then make a different choice. Choose to think positive thoughts about this time, rather than negative thoughts about what happened before. This time, think “I have a plan, this time I’m prepared, I can do this!”
Then, go do it!